The loneliness of a long distance hasher

Skirting around Sciatica - a guide to undertraining

Days to FLM: 24

Last run: sunday 25th, 21 miles

Alert status: Rectory Red.

There’s a thought – I think Farrow and Ball are missing a trick by not sponsoring the Government’s terrorist risk status. Not only would it be more soothing to be upgraded from, say, Radicchio to Eating Room Red but the number of colours available would make for a much more subtle gradation of terror. Must give them a call.

They are lacking a Panic Pink, however which would be most helpful for the PantsonFire alert scale. Shall we just say that this spring’s training has not been textbook (unless there is a textbook on the Idiot’s Guide to Ballsing up your Knees). The optimistic 5 outings a week schedule is now down to two: an insane Sunday run, three days spent recovering, an outing on Wednesday or Thursday to check if joints will ever bend again and then another three days spent ‘being busy’ until Sunday rolls around and the whole charade starts again.

Still, I have now got away with it for so long that a sort of defiant apathy is taking hold. I laugh in the face of ITB, I tweak the nose of shin splints. I even, occasionally, slap the arse of groin strain as I edge past it.

I nearly got my comeuppance on Sunday, however, when I unwisely tried to squeeze in an extra ¼ mile at the end of 21 miles and encountered a 5mm ‘trip hazard’ on the board walk by the river. I promptly staged a truly spectacular ‘shes-falling-oh-no-she-isn’t-oh-yes-she-is-oh-no-she-isn’t-the-crowd-are-on-the-pitch-they-think-it’s-all-over-ah-but-she’s-back-on-her-feet-oooooh-noooo-Bryan-that’s-gotta-hurt’ prat-fall, involving huge amounts of arm windmilling to ensure the attentions of the largest possible group of Japanese tourists as I lay winded and staring up at the clouds. I swear one took a picture.

My luck holds, however. I have one bruise on my hip and a bruised and grazed elbow, no show-stoppers. If you’re gonna face-plant, face-plant on springy wooden boards, I guess. Maybe I could bring a few with me on the 22nd April. Just in case.

posted by Hermione @ 8:23 PM